


(im)perfect

by yomimashou



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP, Johnny's Entertainment
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:14:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21949414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yomimashou/pseuds/yomimashou
Summary: This was their first Christmas season living together, and Yamada needed everything to be perfect.
Relationships: Chinen Yuri/Yamada Ryosuke
Comments: 3
Kudos: 15
Collections: JUMPing Fic Carnival 2019





	(im)perfect

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Reichan12](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reichan12/gifts).



> This takes place in an AU where Yamada and Chinen are young adults living in New York City. Reichan12, I hope you enjoy this, and happy holidays!

“Oh my _god_ , look at this wreath, and these candles!” Yamada moaned, holding his phone out towards Yuri with a pained expression. “Why does everyone have such perfect Christmas decorations??”

Yuri looked unmoved looking up at Yamada’s phone from where he was lying on their bed, but he took the phone from him anyway, shrugging as he looked closer. “I could delete the Instagram app for you, if it’s stressing you out,” he offered, prompting Yamada to snatch his phone back.

“No way, how will I get inspiration for our decorations then??” 

It was their first December in their little apartment in Brooklyn, just a few months after Yamada and Yuri had moved in together—something they had been talking about doing for a few years now, but they had each signed leases with other roommates after graduating from college together, and now the timing had finally been right. So that meant that this was their first Christmas season living together, and Yamada wanted, or more accurately, _needed_ everything to be perfect. He had to plan the perfect Instagrammable tree and decorations, and he and Yuri definitely needed to decorate everything together. It would be a bonding experience, he was sure of it; after all, wasn’t it essential for couples to make holiday traditions together?

And so Yamada kept scrolling through Instagram and Pinterest in his free time, every morning on the subway commuting to his office and every evening at home, scrutinizing the holiday decor tags and poring over the posts of his favorite bloggers. He was looking for inspiration, trying to find the perfect ideas to fit their home, and that was supposed to be fun and exciting, right? But somehow, as the days of December ticked by, what he felt each time he opened up the apps again was a growing sense of insecurity and stress—he wasn’t good enough, and he wasn’t going to be ready in time.

To make matters worse, one of the most perfect, stylish Instagram accounts that Yamada followed was one of his own coworkers, Jun Matsumoto. On top of being the star performer in their department at the non-profit consulting firm where Yamada worked, not only were his clothes and hair perfect every time Yamada saw him, but judging from his social media posts, his home decor and cooking were impeccably fashionable, too, and Yamada had no idea how he could live up to all that. But he knew he had to; he had to make his first Christmas living together with Yuri perfect.

But no matter how badly Yamada wanted to make it perfect, the days kept passing by, filled with work and plans with friends and everything that made life in New York so busy, until it was almost halfway through December and they hadn’t even gotten a tree, let alone decorated it. So when a Sunday afternoon less than two weeks before Christmas found them finally shopping for a tree together, Yamada’s stress levels may have been more than a little elevated. 

The tree needed to be just right, not too big to go into their apartment or their building’s little elevator, but not too small to look really _festive_ and fit enough decorations… Yamada rejected dozens of trees before they found a suitable one, and by the time they were carrying it home, he was exhausted… but he wasn’t going to admit that, because if they didn’t decorate it now, when were they going to have another chance?

But two hours, three scented candles, and four and a half strands of tinsel later, Yuri was lying on his stomach on the couch, where he had retreated to after Yamada had criticized the way he hung the tinsel one too many times. But Yamada wanted to include him, he wanted to do it _together_ , so he was trying to keep his spirits up and continue asking Yuri’s opinion about where to hang the ornaments—but now Yuri was being completely unhelpful, and Yamada was feeling more and more annoyed, no matter how much he tried to remember his holiday spirit.

“What about this one?” Yamada held up an ornament that was hand-decorated with rainbow Abercrombie logos and pictures of Kei’s cat. Yamada had to admit that it was pretty ugly, and he wasn’t sure exactly what artistic message it was trying to send, but it had been a gift from Hikaru and Kei the year before, and Kei had said they had designed and crafted it just for him, so of course he was going to use it! He held it up to the left side of the tree and then the right, looking to Yuri for his input, but Yuri only shrugged.

“It will look fine, wherever you put it,” was his only response, but that had been Yuri’s only answer about the last five ornaments, too, and Yamada couldn’t take it anymore.

“Don’t you care at all??” Yamada screeched, stamping his foot and making the bells attached to Hikaru and Kei’s ornament tinkle, which didn’t feel like it added much strength to his argument, but he ignored it. “This is our first Christmas in our own place together, and you don’t even care about decorating together!!”

“I’m tired,” Yuri said, “And you’re tired, too… Shouldn’t you take a break?”

“A break?!” Yamada couldn’t fathom taking a break, when there was still so much more to do. “So you don’t care about getting our decorations ready in time, then??” He was yelling now, but he couldn’t stop himself.

“It’s just decorations,” Yuri mumbled, pulling himself off the couch and into their bedroom, and when Yuri closed the door behind him, Yamada sat down heavily on the couch, feeling his stomach drop. Forget about perfect decorations… now he had ruined their whole holiday.

The next few days felt awkward and dreary and not at all like the week leading up to Christmas should feel. They were adults; it wasn’t like Yamada and Yuri were giving each other the silent treatment or anything, but their fight hung heavily over Yamada, mostly because he knew he should apologize, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Every time he thought about it, he still felt agitated and upset—even if he’d been wrong to yell and push that way, it wasn’t wrong to want to make Christmas perfect… right?

But having the fight hanging over his head felt awful, and like it was ruining everything good about the holiday season. On top of things feeling tense between him and Yuri, Yamada couldn’t get into the holiday spirit at all, even though this was usually his absolute favorite time of the year. He couldn’t bring himself to finish decorating the tree, Christmas music in stores grated on his ears, and even a pumpkin spice latte didn’t sound appealing, and it all felt even worse when he thought about how he was ruining Yuri’s Christmas season, too.

Looking at inspirational social media posts usually lifted Yamada’s spirits when something was getting him down, but for obvious reasons, the endless flow of holiday-related posts was not helping him now, either—but at the same time, he still couldn’t stop looking at them. So by Friday, while everyone else in the office was excited and ready to head off on their vacations, Yamada was still moping, sitting alone with his salad and wrap at lunch time and dejectedly scrolling through his phone. 

“You okay?” A voice startled Yamada out of his thoughts, and he looked up to see Jun Matsumoto looking down at him with a concerned expression.

“Y-yeah,” Yamada said, his face heating up when he realized that his phone was open to one of Jun’s own Instagram posts, out on the table in easy view.

“Stressed about the holidays?” Jun ventured, and Yamada hesitated, then nodded.

“I just want to make it perfect, you know…?” Yamada said, because somehow it seemed like Jun might understand, and sure enough, Jun nodded. “But, well… I was kind of a jerk to my boyfriend about it…” Yamada felt a little weird spilling his problems to a coworker, but Jun just looked sympathetic, and like maybe he really did understand.

“Don’t worry,” Jun said, clapping Yamada on the shoulder comfortingly. “I know that’s easier said than done… But what’s on Instagram isn’t the same as real life, right? So… think about what’s really important to you.”

Yamada looked up at him in surprise, but Jun only smiled and wished him a merry Christmas, leaving Yamada to think for himself about what was really important.

When Yamada got home that evening, his hands weighed down with bags from Yuri’s favorite Chinese takeout place and his mind full of the apologies he wanted to make, he was surprised to see Yuri sitting on the couch waiting for him, a small box wrapped in red and green on the coffee table in front of him. 

“Merry Christmas,” Yuri greeted him, his lips curling up at the corners, and suddenly there was a lump forming in Yamada’s throat as he set down his bags.

“It’s five days too early!” Yamada protested, but there was no bite behind his words.

Yuri shrugged. “We have plans with our families and friends and everything coming up… Tonight can be special for us.” He nudged the box towards Yamada. “Open it before the food gets cold?”

Yamada nodded, dropping down onto the couch and feeling like he didn’t deserve someone as amazing as Yuri. “I’m sorry I yelled at you the other day…” He had more to apologize for and talk about later, but he had to start with that, at least.

Yuri shook his head and handed Yamada the gift, smiling a little wider, and Yamada loved his smile so much. When he opened the box to reveal a little tree-shaped ornament with the engraving, _Ryosuke & Yuri, 2019_, Yamada thought he might actually start crying.

“For our first Christmas together in this place,” Yuri said, and maybe takeout dumplings and a tiny tree with a haphazard collection of ornaments wasn’t perfectly Instagram-worthy, but as Yamada put his arms around Yuri to pull him close, leaning down to kiss him gently, he thought this was all he needed for the perfect Christmas, just for them.


End file.
